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"The French and the Americans" from "Paris and Other Poems" (Pages 94-95)

 

 

 

Vive la Différence

 

There are two ways to kill a Frenchman,
One, is to kill him outright,
By gun, knife or guillotine.

The other, is to stop him
From being able to question everything.

There are two ways to kill an American:
One, is to kill him outright, by gun
(Mostly the preferred constitutionally protected method)
Knife (kinda sneaky!),
Or electric chair, gas chamber, or injection
(The preferred publicly approved method).
(Americans love choice!)

The other, is to question everything!

Vive la Différence!

 

________________________

 

The Frenchman's Complaint

 

Ah
You Americans
Said the Frenchman
You watch TV for six hours each day
And make love for five minutes
Whereas
We French
Spend six hours making love
And five minutes watching TV
Can you believe that?

No
Replied the American
You’ve got it wrong
We spend four hours thirty five minutes each week
On average
Making love

How do you know that?
Asked the Frenchman

I saw it on the Oprah Winfrey show
Said the American

Bien sûr,
Then it must be true
Said the Frenchman
And thought:
I rest my case!

 

 

 

 


 

 

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